It makes me sad, foremost. The man wants the world to be a fair place, for all people to have equal access to food and opportunity and justice. He also wants it to be fair to him, or to seem so. His extreme narcissism makes that impossible. When his family refuses to ostracize his ex-wife, he takes that as a punch across his face, and is angered that everyone is breaking his rules. His misery is made worse.
Why does that make me sad? In spite of everything, I care. I also care about children, and his are living in a poisonous world. Quite apart from whatever world their mother creates, the world he creates is poisoned by his need for everyone to see her as he does. The children will carry this pain with them as they go forward. It is so preventable! But that would require love and grace, or empathy, or some related set of qualities which we have learned over the years he simply does not have.
It is sad and my impulse to be a good influence in this world tempts me to say something. A true friend would say a lot. A true friend would set him down with a few beers and set him straight. I'm not that friend, can't possibly be, and so everything I think of to say, however brief, just looks like internet snark. The best thing, therefore, is to turn away, and ignore, and get on with my own.
That too makes me sad.
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6 comments:
Whatever else, your own family should support you even if they think you are wrong. Doesn't mean they have to hate on the ex; they can simply be there for you. In my case, I no longer have contact with the ex's family, though I don't believe they think I'm a bad person, whatever he may have said. They know who he is. Regardless, they are HIS family and not mine, and that is how it should be. I shouldn't be hanging out with his siblings, taking trips with his sister ... wtf? That's nuts. I agree with the dude on this.
But I also don't comment on the dude's exxy stuff because I don't feel it'd be taken the right way.
My own family dynamics is such that Iam more likely to treasure a friendship that show some emotional support for a brother whose emotional needs are so narcissistic and even vampiric. Speaking, that is wholly of my family. I know nothing of that guy's family dynamics and can only extrapolate what i understand of his, mmmm, call it "particular pathology" from my on-line observation of him.
That said, I can empathize with his pain, yet can feel a similar sadness for those around him who live inside his world of pain. Hoping his expressions are limited to the adults around him at least. I do understand how fiercely he loves his children.
Of course "that show " should be "than show "
What Paula said.
All true, but Don is right that the sense of powerlessness is very frustrating, and very sad. I'd much sooner just not know any more, not because I don't care, but because caring is so pointless.
Some people are takers, vortexes of negative energy and hell is imo, the self, by itself, gone feral in the bush. I was one such. One winds up good for nothing.
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