RMT, 24 Feb 1926 ~ 14 Dec 2011
I had a nice visit with him Saturday, he in his electric bed, big flatscreen running the Classic Arts Showcase. He was entirely lucid, the brilliant retired research scientist I always knew, albeit peeved by the gout in his hands. I had my newest girlfriend along ("Δ") and he was concerned that she not get bored.
(She wasn't; she either visited with us, or sat out in the living room, sketching.)
Tuesday I got a call he was delirious from pain and yelling a lot. Not like him at all.
Wednesday he was doped up and out of pain and unresponsive.
Wednesday afternoon I collected his second ex-wife, who lives near me, and we went on down (hour and a half drive) to Concord.
Hospice nurse was a sweetheart (a gorgeous Asian sweetheart in her 20s, to be exact) and had everything ship-shape while he lay peacefully, his breathing labored but steady. His two cousins were there, and the wife of one, and his girlfriend; then me and the ex-wife; then the other ex-wife (my mother) and a grandson (who happened to be driving from San Jose to Sac, for which drive Concord is a halfway point); and an ex-stepdaughter as well.
People came and went. His blood pressure dropped. His breathing faded. I bent down and spoke into his unhearing ear that I loved him, we all loved him, were proud to have known him, that we wanted him to be comfortable and at peace and that it was okay to go.
Within an hour, I was standing with my hands on his arm and forehead while the nurse monitored a pulse that faded and was gone.
5 comments:
I'm glad you got to be there at the end. I missed out being there right at the end for my mom, miscalculated by an hour or so, was picking up my daughter. Nice he had all those other loved ones around as well.
Wow, he so looks like you!
I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope there is some small comfort in such a peaceful ending. Hugs to you.
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Don. I'm glad you had a good day with him on Saturday. My sympathies.
There is a nobility in being there for these moments, which sometimes imply everything but nobility.
I know nothing about family, but a little about loss, and about making sure people have a copper for the ferryman. Vale.
So sorry for your loss, Don. Good you could all be with him. That's a blessing.
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