A Little More on the Broken Teacup

This is a deservedly popular lesson.

The story goes that the Buddha was asked by one of his disciples about the practice of non-attachment. How does one go about life without clinging to objects and ideas and relationships, in order to cultivate greater spiritual freedom?

The Buddha told his student, ‘Every morning I drink from my favorite teacup. I hold it in my hands and feel the warmth of the cup from the hot liquid it contains. I breathe in the aroma of my tea and enjoy my mornings in this way. But in my mind the teacup is already broken.’
- Heartbeats

However, it is not a Buddha story. It is a retelling of this story here.

Before saying a word, [Ajahn Chah] motioned to a glass at his side. “Do you see this glass?” he asked us. “I love this glass. It holds the water admirably. When the sun shines on it, it reflects the light beautifully. When I tap it, it has a lovely ring. Yet for me, this glass is already broken. When the wind knocks it over or my elbow knocks it off the shelf and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ But when I understand that this glass is already broken, every minute with it is precious.”

When I was introduced, mainly through the meanderings of others, to the concept of non-attachment, I thought, How scary and alone that must be. Isn't my attachment to my dog, my sons, my world the most precious thing? But I have been drawn through a journey of non-attachment, not entirely of my own will, and I can't help but notice how the now measurably decreased attachment I have to things and ideas correlates to a much happier self. Causation I cannot yet prove; but the correlation is certain.

Not always willingly, because when first I grew attached to Nancy, and then to Sonja, I found love to be an exercise in letting go. Both are strong and open women who are essentially unafraid to engage with the world on their own terms. To love them, to maintain and grow amazing relationships with them, required I learn from them when to hold and when not to hold, what to fear and what not to fear; and of course, in time, that there was never anything to fear at all.

Well, the power of sex and of my own unmet childlike needs for love and affection gave me motivation, hence I was sometimes drawn quite in spite of my conscious self. But I am immeasurably grateful for the journey, and am a much stronger, more loving, and more loved person than ever. As for that glass? Yeah, I guess it's broken, but no matter, because the light shines and refracts and sparkles as beautifully through shards as through cut crystal.