Misc Ramblage

Ello was all the rage a few days ago as people reacted badly to Facebook enforcing its real-name policies and sought to jump ship. But most of the people I know who scurried over there have remained active on Facebook and pretty much forgotten their new toy. And then I saw links to headlines suggesting Facebook has changed its policy. So the whole thing is a big shrug. (No, I didn't read up on Facebook. Should I?)

I'm a little bit active in both. Curious how it turns out. But I don't need another social networking space. If Facebook were to block my account until I proved I was who I said I was, I would try somewhere else. Until then, though I like Ello because it's spare and arty like a modern art museum, meh.

I still have a vignette or two partially written about some aspect or other of this year's Burning Man, but the year is wearing on and I don't care to remember it as much as I did. I sort of wanted to give intimate illustrations as to how I allow myself to become socially isolated no matter how wondrous the opportunities to interact, but now, again, meh. Who cares? It's just a fact, a thing about me. Someday I'll find a balance such that I will be satisfied without having to really try anymore. Meanwhile, I have got way too much to do to sit around writing.

Someone posted a thing about being a writer. To really do it, you pretty much have to ignore everything else. I believe this to be true. I don't believe this to be how I wish to live. I don't want to ignore shit just because I have another shitty chapter to write.

The important thing is to identify why you want to do Thing A and Thing B and Things C through J, what it is you really want that you think those Things will help you get. Figure that out, and a lot of time can be invested rather than wasted. Not much time left to waste.

Why, for ex, do I want to build an Art Car, Mutant Vehicle, Mobile Art, whatever you call it? Why do I want to make real my vision of marrying industrial hub motors and a wheelchair-like controller to a pentagonal platform that will support God knows what sort of visually striking structure and carry half a dozen people around the desert at five miles per hour while the lights flash and the music booms? Why indeed? Part of it is the standard thing of others did it and I want to too. Great way to meet people. I enjoy entertaining people, giving others a good experience. But that's a lot of money and time spent for a few days of a very specialized semi-celebrity. Strewth, I would also drive it in small parades, perhaps, and explore what of the design is unique enough to germinate a new business or augment my professional reputation. Why not. Who knows, when I'm gone from this corporation and am an old engineer competing with kids half my age and twice as smart, it might make all the difference that I organized construction of something awesome for Burning Man. It also might show me that if I connect enough, I no longer need a fucking job anyway.

Which takes us back to connection, which I'm bad at establishing and no better at maintaining. Well, artists usually work alone anyway, but ... what? Artist? Do I really want to be sixty and homeless? No, I do not, so what the hell am I talking about?

Back, then, to why. I have a basic ability in lots of creative outlets. But I've significantly developed none of them. So when I ponder which two I would keep and free myself up by discarding the rest, I'm typically left with writing stories and building art cars. Way too late to do anything satisfying with music (a statement that always sounds foolish). I'm way too unpracticed to sketch or draw something like what my mind sees. But nothing inside sits up and goes "Yeah!" at the apparent resulting decision. Instead it's, oh, so I won't be doing ... ?

Well, this was depressing. Good thing I don't seek to entertain. Wait ...