Juice; and More Juice

It was mentioned in a recent comment here that I offer up "poignant glimpses into another world, a juicy slice of life" that some others would otherwise never see. I guess this is true. My journey has gone from a happy on the outside but not so much on the inside marriage to building up my polyamory chops to being thrown by the gods into Sunya's path, and from there the adventure only accelerated. She had a pretty wild youth, having grown up with few concepts of limits, then turned it around into a long and quietly unhappy marriage producing many children, and was just finding her way out of that when she stumbled over me. She then embarked on a program of reintegrating her past selves into a present whole, and this involved numerous twists and turns most men would abandon her for, I think. But I did not, because I looked deeper, and saw the whole of her, and refused to be put off by fears and jealousies I wanted to grow out of anyway. Now it doesn't seem so out of place that she would go to a meeting, run into an opportunity to party with certain friends and their friends, and come back in the morning having added a conquest or two or three to her lusty legacy, and then tell me all about it while I don't bat an eye, still happy from having shared her with another gorgeous blonde just a couple of nights preceding. Sex alone doesn't fill one's cup, but the people who get so close are generally kind and trustworthy, and truth -- which is a requirement for respect, which is in turn a requirement for love -- is never spared; and once the conditioning that leads to weirdness and pain has been unlearned, what's left is mostly just plain good.

Mostly: People get jealous or otherwise butt-hurt all the same. But the proper response is to respect those feelings, and the why of them, and surround people with love, and let them grow into their own understanding.

This relatively peaceful situation has been a long time coming. Both of us struggled (and surely will continue to struggle) with issues that lie hidden until the moment they come screaming out of the deep. Who knew how badly I would take it when I first actually saw someone fucking her, for example, even though she had openly done no less when I wasn't around, as had I. But hard experience leads to soft living, as they would say if I hadn't just made that up, by which I mean some things seem bad, but once you're past them and they've become a part of your experience, they're actually not bad at all, as the problem was really something else. Up above I said that after meeting me she embarked on a program; it was really an adventure of many adventures. Some of it I found very painful. Loving me, she did not like that part. But I said keep going, and she found she could do so, indeed needed to do so, in order to become who she really was, to integrate her many sides and become, for the first time in her life, happy within herself. Dare I say it, this was only possible because she trusted me and trusted she could rely on me. And now, just in the past few months, that feeling of trust and reliance has solidified into a certainty and sense of confidence she has never had her whole life. This development was enabled by me buying the house. Now, finally, she can leave emergency survival mode and start to really live and grow.

The way she put it, in a text one random afternoon, drove me to tears it was so good. I am blessed and honored. What a life, ey?