Thoughts While Merging

I've never been with a black woman. It's never meant anything to me that I do, but since I've led my whole life among relatively diverse populations, you might think the odds would favor an encounter. But they have not, and I've never cared. I don't care for bucket lists, and if I kept one I sure as hell wouldn't put something so overtly racist as "Have sex with a black woman" on it.

Why's it come up? A thought flashed by my brain a moment ago. I was getting coffee and one of the more beautiful women at the plant was too, someone whom I've never met and likely never will. My default reaction to black people is that there's no significant difference except that, thanks to Society's constant messaging, I do notice the difference sufficiently to have thoughts such as that there's no significant difference. Obviously if someone's a white European in origin, there's less such processing. Slightly less if they're Asian too. Not less if they're Hispanic. These extra brain cycles reflect the common messaging about the history and how it still plays out today.

In the news of late there's been a lot of content about that history playing out today, in terms of race-motivated police brutality, and fear and anger regarding immigrants being stirred up by political candidates. In various ways we are being reminded anew that the experience of being black or "of color" in this country does not default to the experience of just being in this country race-neutral. Even if ninety five percent of the white people encountered have no apparent racist feeling or intent, the exceptions make your life as a person of color very different than the lives of your white peers.

So when I was getting coffee and enjoying the momentary presence of beauty, the thought drifted across my brain that while the experience of "being with" a black woman would by itself mean nothing to me, it would still mean being with someone who's had life experiences very different from my own. It would mean being with someone who's not from my figurative suburban enclave. Someone who is, in fact, an Other.

Pretty much the same as being with someone from Europe, or some redneck woman, or a Burner gypsy type who's spent the last twenty years living off her wits and creativity and has a completely non-establishment outlook. Not such a big deal, in other words. Which aligns with my basic thought that it's unimportant, but I guess in that moment I was looking beyond "She's black and I don't care," and going to "Even though to all outward appearances she's just another suburban tech worker, she'd be different, because no matter how much it's the same, her life is different."

Such are the thoughts that fly by while one is merging with humanity.