Lots of Change and to Spare, Part I

Friday evening I went to a cafe in midtown, ordered a beer and some mac & cheese, and got me some writing done. This was unusual, the actual writing part, and I've been feeling great about it ever since. Did me a whole first chapter, I did. But that wasn't the original plan. I probably couldn't make up the way it actually went.

As may or may not be generally comprehended, Sunya and I are in an "open" relationship, which I put into quotes because every relationship is unique and any label is only going to beg more explanation. We haven't been particularly busy with it, one reason being that we like each other a lot. Also, since she's partnered with me, you are right to assume she keeps high standards. Her dates and adventures are typically short-lived. Mine are too. Mine are far less numerous, too, but that's only the young extroverted female / old introverted male contrast talking.

But a guy came along who's actually worth some of her time, and the Friday in question she was into the second full day of being with him. I'm only human and still feel new to this sort of life so it is with some wonder that I can say I like the guy too -- but then, I should be comfortable with him, given what four or five of us were up to in that hotel in San Francisco the night we had to sell our Edwardian Ball tickets ... But that's a long story, so never mind. Point: she had a date, I didn't, I was fine.

Except, not entirely. I kinda wanted a date too, mainly I think to quash any residual "left behind" feeling that might have been drawing me down, but had done nothing to get one. I'm only interested in people I have come to know -- it never occurred to me to fire up a dating app -- and so I was slightly peeved that I had misunderstood the plans for this evening and not given myself a diversion. But now and then I realize with great surprise that I have friends, lots of 'em, so I did a quick FB-friends survey and went, ah ha, I know what.

I contacted a woman who's part of an amazingly cool couple and with whom I at that moment realized I had been starting to make a one on one friendship ... via FB comments and FB PM mostly, but that's valid, more valid than flirting around the after-church punchbowl so far as I'm concerned. She was busy, no surprise, but encouraged me to set something up soon. This encouragement was enough to fix my mood. (I have a few "types" and she fits one of them: A shockingly curvy redhead who's super nice and super smart and wears glasses, oh yes. Sunya fits another and favorite type quite handily, as you might expect.)

Mood fixed, I settled in at a place I like because they have solid food and good beer (and tea and coffee) and the clientele almost universally works quietly on their laptops. The atmosphere is very suitable, being conversational and not loud, and they play good music. I was still slightly jangly from the home scene and wanted an environment to be alone in and work out some details in a burgeoning novel. I wanted to do it by writing it -- not describing what I would write, but just writing it. So I did, for about an hour and a half, watching characters assert their identities as they conversed, and as I came up with a simple device to introduce new information to one of them and set some scheme into motion. It was fun, till the phone rang.

I don't always answer blocked numbers but I'm glad I answered this one. An officer from the city police department wanted to inform me that my house was full of loud teenagers and that the neighbors were complaining. I kept him on the phone while I packed everything up and hightailed it to my car. He had gotten my number through his "resources", probably the records room at city hall. He helpfully offered several times to go inside the house as a safety check, but each time I thanked him and said that wouldn't be necessary as I'd be home in fifteen minutes. Since I was going to be there, he wasn't going to hang out, and sure enough when I got home there were no policemen ... nor were there any particularly loud noises. I went in fully loaded to exercise an eviction notice to find a bunch of 10th-graders laughing and playing around but not doing anything particularly bothersome. There wasn't even any music. Nor alcohol. And while the host, who is our oldest minor, copped to the presence of smoke, I didn't detect any of that either. By and large it all came down to overly-sensitive neighbors complaining at nine o'clock of a Friday about a bunch of kids laughing too loud. I didn't evict anyone and over the next hour most of the party went away of its own accord.

I was still in the middle of my chapter, so I went into my den and finished it. It was all conversation and a little scene-setting. By the time it's part of something larger it will have been edited beyond recognition. But I was happy with what I made. I'm also happy that one of the characters is an historical figure, someone who really lived, except that he's only known by occasional mention in the letters of a better-known figure and by being listed with his colleagues in the papers. Yes, I really do enjoy detailed research. (Well, ok, yes, he's my invention, but has a real person's name and occupation.)

The weekend progressed. Sunya came home to me, happier to see me and more in love with me than I had seen in a while. There's something to be said for loving someone in ways that let him or her explore their entire world. The look on her face anticipating me coming back from doing the same, with the lady mentioned above or whomever, was precious. Done that before, yes, but I feel as though we're finally hitting some sort of stride, in which fear and concern and self-imposed limitations may not be necessary and we can simply open up to all the wonderfulness. I dunno, this probably sounds crazy to some of y'all. Meanwhile, the rest of the weekend was spent working together at a studio out of town on her next arts project, so no more writing yet.

The major part of the change and to spare I sat down to write about hasn't been touched on yet, so I've decided this is Part I. I'll get around to Part II anon.