Ya Voté

I knew better than to tell the polling place people that I moved. Did that back in the '88 primary: Showed up to vote and breezily mentioned that I'd moved in with my girlfriend the previous year but forgot to send in the form. They closed up everything and said, sorry, you can't vote without re-registering. I was pissed, mostly at myself.

So this time, since I only moved a month ago (same woman, opposite direction), I decided to avoid any trouble with the mails getting crossed up and just didn't say anything. I'll re-register later.

Same ultra-modern church with a stage and multimedia tools and exposed heating ducts. Two dogs outside, chained to the fire hydrant, one really big, one really small, staring side by side at the door. So cute. Oddly stressed-appearing volunteers inside. I signed in, saw my wife's name, saw my son's name -- oops, he didn't re-register after moving a hundred miles down the road, so I guess he ain't voting. Then realized, aw shit.

"I forgot to bring my reading glasses."

The lady asked if I wanted to go get them. I said, "Nah, don't really need 'em," and took the big long forms to the booth. Bellied up. No punch machine. Oh yeah, they stopped using those a few elections ago. I like the punch card thing but evidently someone had a "better" idea and I needed a pen. I didn't have a pen. I went back to the tables.

"Do I need a pen?"

I wasn't really sure so I figured I'd ask. Someone said, "Yes."

"Where do I get one?"

"You don't have one?"

"No."

"They didn't give us any pens."

I glanced around on the tables and sure enough, no little box full of pens. But someone dug around and came up with one. I went back and squinted just tightly enough to read the names and numbers. Good thing I hadn't waited to the last moment to actually read any text. I filled in the circles where I knew to fill them in, ignored the ones I didn't feel qualified to vote on. Gave them back their pen. Put the long form in the electronic ballot-reading gizmo upside-down and made it beep. Put it in the right way and listened to its low-volume chuckling as it shredded my ballot and ignored my choices. Wondered how much money there really is in supplying the equipment for a new voting scheme every few years.

As I drove away I considered going to the drug store to buy them a box of pens but decided there was probably someone nominally in charge and they probably have a cell phone and they might even have a friend so I just went to work, my civic duty discharged yet again.