Oh Yeah, You Guys

Is nine days not blogging a record for me? No, but suddenly it's long enough. However, this will not be one of those rare focused pieces. I'm just scratchpadding here.

I lost a good leather jacket. How? Where? I don't know. Noticed it missing from the closet this morning. Nowhere in the apartment. I remember wearing it recently. I have no idea where or when, so it is gone. Probably draped it over a chair at a bar and didn't notice it missing for two weeks.

Is this "normal"? Are you able to remember what you did and when and where? Such a capability would be a great blessing to me. I've a feeling many people can indeed remember such things. I can imagine how that would make life run a little more smoothly than it does for the rest of us.

Lost my steampunk overcoat too, but that's old news. I wore it at this crazy warehouse party in San Francisco on New Year's and I wore it going back to the hotel, duh, it was four in the morning and cold, and I checked throughout the room the next day and I can even imagine a memory of folding it into my suitcase but I haven't seen it since.

I have a date tonight with someone I met online and with whom I seem (thus far) to have a good connection. This will be our first date beyond the initial sniff test. She is openly polyamorous so there are no worries about having to make sure at some point she is cool with my other women. Not the case with a woman I had a first real live date with on Tuesday, in that she had no idea until I managed to bring it up in our dinner conversation. I think open relationships were a new concept to her but she could see the merit in it and there's no question we will go out again. Already she understands my next four weekends are filled up and is willing to work around that.

This is all good, but it's interesting in that I am deeply happy with the two -- okay, three -- women I'd been seeing already, and am thus motivated in part by a principle: I need to grow. So do my other women, and they are pursuing that growth in their own ways, and those ways sometimes remind me why open relationships are not for the faint of heart. Sometimes this crazy ride is very painful. But it is a good pain, ultimately, as it leads to positive growth; and besides, when I meet someone good, and two women I love encourage me to pursue it, I really have nothing to count but blessings and certainly no reasons to hold back.

I must say, parenthetically, that though I realize to a lot of people managing several deep, loving, honest, and open relationships may seem tiring, and it is, it is also far more rewarding in many different senses than I can imagine a more standard post-marriage social life would have been for me. It is gekko, whom I was lucky enough to run into at that critical juncture in my life, who unintentionally but very effectively shepherded me through my transitions, bolstered my confidence, and prepared me for the others that have also enriched me. And shown that "open" also refers to the future: With each, there is no end in sight.

I said two-okay-three. Way back when I was seeing a lot more of M, but a lot of my attention of late has been taken up by Miss Sunny, and M and I just sort of drifted apart. Not really apart, though: We will be lifelong friends (she's close to my mother's side of my family). But we couldn't often align our schedules, and now a boyfriend of hers proposes an exclusive relationship, and she's thinking about it, and I truly hope that goes well.

I have not written about S here much. One, her privacy is more important than any of this. Two, ours is a rich and dynamic relationship and I don't feel comfortable committing something that always changes to the chiseled stone of the internet. Also, sometimes writing about a thing creates a two-dimensional version of it, and I don't want any cheap copies lying around. I think I've taken a similar approach with regards to gekko. But that's different because she shares things herself, and and and ..

Actually, I don't remember what I've written. Have I shared much about gekko and me? I really don't know. Better to assume not, I guess?

Wow. Suddenly my past is this vast gray space.

Well, there have been a lot of adventures in that space. I, we, all of us, have done things recently I could not have imagined on my own, not in the rich variety of the details. Sometimes I wish I could keep a well-written public diary on some of this but there really is no time for that, quite apart from the privacy thing.

I really do wish I knew where I left my jacket, though, and when.