I'm curious if the non-response to the previous post (apart (as of 10 Aug) from our loquacious self-described polyamorists) reflects any discomfort on the part of those readers whom I can tell have read it. I would be interested in a discussion on that discomfort ... or whatever else.
Burning Man, for which I depart in sixteen days, will offer far more opportunity for such discomfort than I can possible describe. Obviously I have no discomfort if a woman I am close to in turn gets close to another woman. But the possibilities are rather more broad than that.
I have decided I am here in this life to experience and to learn and to love without condition. But this is not to say I don't have some trepidation over the possibilities for ... how shall we say ... imbalance. It is imbalance of some sort that most upsets a relationship. And I have my fears. It is hard to love without fear.
Well, but I also have faith and hope, and as the famous passage from Corinthians says, love is greater than these.
Meanwhile it is increasingly difficult to focus on the mundane. Even yet I have huts that need repair, and pedal-driven vehicles that need repair and customization, and a motor vehicle that needs critical maintenance, and outfits to devise and improve, and camping supplies to collect, and decisions to make that are best made before boots contact playa. I have found, again, that preparation is not a matter of going down a list, but of jumping in and discovering how many unexpected problems there are, from octahut panels burnt during Furr Ball, to door latches thrown away, to cheap new bicycle tubes going flat that are of an odd size that no one stocks anymore, to, well, it goes on.
Aye, and that's enough whining. I think I'll leave work early. It's Friday.
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6 comments:
No discomfort on my part. Why would there be? You're all degenerate sybarites but that's OK! I think you're instincts vis-a-vis the girl's boyfriend were correct: her problem, not yours. What exactly would "being a man" have amounted to, and what good would it have done?
Gotten him arrested, quite likely. Don did the right thing.
Contemplating a new path is always at least a little scary, which is maybe why I kept doing the same old dumb familiar things even though they were not working. I'm feeling better now.
Hope things go unexpectedly well!
No discomfort, there's just nothing I could say that would have added to that post. I read your blog all the time but I'm in no position to comment on polywhatsits. The idea of looking on with affection as my significant other makes out with anyone (don't care what gender) is so alien to me that I can't possibly speak intelligently to it.
I don't have discomfort, either. But I lose interest in other people's sex lives pretty quickly. Maybe I lack voyeurism more than lack comfort.
I also don't engage with the polyamory talk (or any sort of talk) when it gets philosophical and teachy or it's trying to fit feelings that don't seem philosophically concordant into that philosophy. I feel like you are doing a little of that here, as you write to learn or display what you feel and think. Like there are a lot of thinking and feeling "shoulds" buried in this, and they are mainly the opposite of the usual thinking or feeling "shoulds."
Well, that's not clear. It's like when my daughter was in deep rebellion against me, and I wanted to tell her when you try to be not like me, you are still being controlled by me. (DID tell her.) You just need to be you.
Clear enough. I think I know what you mean. I'm out here, we're all out here exploring, learning. Things will change. Meanwhile those "shoulds" are guideposts for when the fog gets a little thick, same as the other and usual shoulds that don't always fit any better but, yes, sometimes do. Meanwhile, 1) sometimes I'm so happy I could burst; and 2) if nothing else, I'll end up with stories.
Your stories and your writing are engaging, and the happiness unto bursting, that helps us get through the other times I think.
Thanks for sharing yourself in this way. It's a gift to us.
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