So to feed the evolution I made a profile on one of those online dating things. It was kind of fun because I'm actually single and so the possibilities are real enough. There's plenty of wimmins of an appropriate age, too, though to be honest not all that many meet a reasonable standard. I mean, if you're not smart enough to write clearly about your real self and avoid being the same as everyone else and also post a half-decent picture, then you're off my radar. Still it's fun to browse people and send clever little notes and look for responses.
Had brief correspondences with two or three people. They went nowhere. Now I think I'm done with the exercise. Just can't be arsed taking pursuit. I know there are people who are all into it and go on fifty first dates and have fun with it and god knows it would do me good to work through my significant personal demons by learning from more people and getting over myself, I suppose ... but. Meh. You people have spoiled the hell out of me.
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9 comments:
I would suggest that you work through personal demons without bringing a lot of women into the mix. They just confuse things more.
In what way, AJ?
Yeah, I hear you on the spoiled. It's interesting how our group sort of coalesced out of that Usenet madness and stayed together, adding a few along the way. Most people are ordinary, incapable and uninterested in much self-analysis, and certainly not going to be able to understand others. So I don't see what's "fun" about having parallel conversations with them, never connecting.
Re Paula's comment: kind of how it is for me, at least IRL. I have difficulty connecting to ppl. They all just seem so shallow. Figure it's "introvert vs extrovert" stuff. Extros babble (my chatacterization) and value conversing for the social aspects. Intros reserve conversation for what, to them, is meaningful, thus more for the content and impact. Extros don't like pauses and quiet time. They fill them in. Intros wait for a pause, then consider their response, by which time the extro has rushed in to fill the blank spot, so intros give up. Etc.
Dunno, tho, how that translates in typed stuff other than that ppl probly don't quite know how to start, so rely on mindless babble even in textual conversations. No history built up yet, see.
'S one reason I never srsly considered trying dating sites. Not aa smalltalk person.
That is exactly my experience as an apparent introvert: I wait for a pause, and by the time I've drawn breath, the pause is gone. I've tried to be more assertive, by for example thinking of what I'm going to say before the other person is done talking, which seems wrong to me, but I think that's how they operate; and then I find I still have to interrupt to get any words in. So now I sometimes interrupt people and feel rude. Evidently there is some subtle timing to be learned.
Re this online thing, if I get a message out of the blue that in its entirety goes, "hi how are u" I just ignore it. I mean, if someone's not going to give me at least three full sentences that tell me a little what they're about or reflect their reading of my stuff, then fuck 'em. So to speak.
The whole scene is its own special kind of annoying. Way too much energy required to learn how to do it right.
I _hates_ the phrase "how are you" in any spelling or variation! It's totally the lamest conversation starter ever and should be banned by all governments.
Yah, if you want to meet someone at least come up with an interesting pick-up line. Better to do as Don suggests and say a bit about yourself as an introduction.
I don't know what you people are on about. I am exactly as shallow as I seem.
I recommend swiping credit cards or bringing beer.
Actually, for peeps like us a "dating" site would look remarkably like misc.writing.
Sadly I missed the whole online dating thing, having been happily married all this time. But a buddy and I double dated through a personals ad, which was fun. He is still married to one of the total babes we attracted with our irreverent wit.
It's good to be married of you are a huge dork that no one in their right mind would ever date.
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