Working Out et cetera

I hate the feeling my body has of not having been exercised. My chest and arms have a weird jittery feeling that screams "Use me!" My legs are restless. My shoulders are tense.

Okay, you say, so go to the gym. What's stopping you?

I like working out but I hate working out without a plan. I always work out without a plan. See? I'm already not making sense. What I do is go down there with a vague idea and push myself through a bunch of back stuff or bicep stuff or leg stuff plus ab bench work in between everything, and that's not a horrible methodology, but it lacks flow and I have to think and I hate it.

I liked it when I worked out with a group because I just did what they did. I hate working out with a group because you have to be there at a set time and go at their pace. I like the conversations. I hate having to talk to people and feeling antisocial if I don't.

It's the middle of the day, the perfect time to take a gym break. But I'm not only starving, I have shit to do to learn this new job, a couple personal phone calls to make, shopping to go do if I knew precisely what to get (I'm doing my Jeep's front brakes tomorrow and suspect I need tools but I left the shop manual at home and online info requires sifting through and I hate that), online shopping to do as well (for example the pool needs a new light), etc.

None of that can be done tonight because my mother wants to take me out to dinner. Sunya suggested we all go to the local Dances of Universal Peace thing tonight, and I'm kind of interested and know Mom would be. But I have car and house and bikes to work on and she has an art installation tomorrow she's in the final push for, as well as a showing mid-week and another next weekend, and Burning Man looms, and the kids need dinner, and the neighbor's mad at all our construction noise (sounds like, but it's really art-making), and so forth and so on and on and on I go, making constant contradiction. But busy in any case, it's no wonder I don't maintain friendships, much less get any writing done.

Yesterday was my birthday but I elected not to see my mom so I could go to the Burner meetup. But I didn't go to the Burner meetup because by the time evening came on I was tired and cranky. I was fed a marvelous meal, which helped a lot, and then decided the best thing for me to do was go finish up getting that birthday present for one of the kids, whose birthday was almost two weeks ago. Then I wouldn't have to worry about it today, and I'm glad I did that, cause then we just packed it in and watched a movie and fell asleep. You can't get a much better evening than that. I did get texts and messages from the meetup to the effect that there were friends and drinks and spanks waiting for me there. But I didn't want to go out, and burn energy, and lose sleep, and be away from home. Nor is it like there was a big party missing me. I purposely do not let Facebook announce my birthday, so most of those folks didn't know. It was just the last gathering before we all trickle up into the desert, and to be honest, I don't go to Burning Man to socialize with people I know from Sacramento, so really, one last meetup means little to me.

Point is, I'm not going to the gym, my body's need for action notwithstanding. I'll go get me some lunch and hang out at my desk working at my job and shopping / researching online. The trick is to make sure I have a good hard run late tonight and do a bunch of pushups. Don't really need a lot more than that.